Sulking People of God

The Prophet Jonah Sulking

(Jonah 4)

Is "sulking" (the gerund or present participle) a good or bad thing? What is it? According to the dictionaries it means to "be silent, morose, and bad-tempered out of annoyance or disappointment." This happens to nearly all children when they are whipped, chastened, or otherwise punished by parents for misbehavior. It also involves, say the dictionaries, "self-pity that causes us to sulk and obsess over our hurts." 

For myself I can say that I sometimes sulked after a whipping when I was a child. But, adults can also sulk though not from parental whippings as such. I again confess that I have sulked at times in my married life when I thought my wife was not showing me proper attention. Can God's people react that way? Do they sometimes sulk when God spanks them? Recently, I was made to see what I had previously only seen in a limited way. I saw how most sulking is not the right reaction that pleases our God and Father. Yet, not to throw out the baby with the bathwater and go to extremes, I will say that I believe it can be good and not a bad thing. The case of Job shows that, doesn't it? So too the case of the prophet Jonah. If I ask those who know the story of Job - "did Job sulk?" What would most say? Yes, Job was a sulker, most would say. I agree. However, I don't think his sulking was ungodly. So, was his (or our) sulking, sinful behavior, displeasing to God? 

In looking into this I found an article titled "Sulking May Be Common, But It's Not Godly" (here) and I want to cite from it and add some comments and observations.

The author says:

"Have you ever sulked or pouted because you didn't get your way? I have. I'm not proud of it either. I wish I could say it's happened in my life only once or twice, but that wouldn't be honest.

Sulking is selfish. It's self-centered. It is not Christ-like. Jesus tells us that if we want to follow Him we have to take up our crosses and deny self. Unfortunately our culture is self-consumed and self-centered. When we pout we are more like the world than Jesus."

I think that is true in most cases, but I think that there are exceptions. I believe that the sulking of Job was not ungodly.

Says the article further:

"Sulking is a great way to refuse to accept personal responsibility for decisions, actions, or attitudes that we don't want to admit, or think about in constructive ways that promote personal growth."

Again, I believe that is true and is why I must fight all inclinations to sulk when troubles come in waves and when I am being chastened of the Lord.

Says the article further:

"...churches are often fertile breeding ground for the pouter. In 24+ years of pastoral ministry I've seen some of the best sulkers the church has to offer. Nearly every one of them had unresolved family of origin, anger, or spoiled child issues. And I can count on one hand the number of people in all those years and churches who actually faced their sin of sulking and dealt with it in a mature, biblical manner that honored God. Most pouted their way to the exit and took their wheelbarrow full of self pity to the next church where it inevitably spilled over again." 

"The best way to handle a sulker is to let them soak in their own stew and don't let it affect your attitude and outlook."

Brethren, let us not sulk as the ungodly when we are chastened of the Lord or suffer insults and other harms from others.

Let me cite the following important text that is related to our subject. I will put the word "sulking" (which includes the idea of pouting) in the text.  

"8For even if I made you sorry (to sulk) with my letter, I do not regret it; though I did regret it. For I perceive that the same epistle made you sorry (to sulk), though only for a while. 9Now I rejoice, not that you were made sorry (sulked), but that your sorrow(sulking) led to repentance. For you were made sorry (sulked) in a godly manner, that you might suffer loss from us in nothing. 10For godly sorrow (sulking) produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow (sulking) of the world produces death. 11For observe this very thing, that you sorrowed (sulked) in a godly manner: What diligence it produced in you, what clearing of yourselves, what indignation, what fear, what vehement desire, what zeal, what vindication!" (II Cor. 7: 8-11)

I recall that I often, as a child, when spanked by my parents, went through a sulking period, and then, when I had reflected and calmed down, I would come around to mom and dad and say "I am sorry for the way I acted." My sulking led me to get by myself and allow my flesh and soul to battle one another and thankfully it has many times led to my confession and repentance and restoration of fellowship with parents, spouses, or friends.  So, let us sulk to repentance. Let us not be angry with God because he chastises us or does not give us all that we ask for. We don't want the Lord to spoil his children till they are ready, right?