I know I don't have a lot of time left being the age I am and having the illness that I have. But, I am determined to work as feverish as possible to get done the things I need to get done before the night comes. Said our Lord:
"We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming, when no one can work." (John 9: 4)
I want to continue to do what I have been doing for many years now, which is to study God's word and to teach it to others. I work hard each day in this good work of "laboring in the word and doctrine" (I Tim. 5: 17); And, "much study is weariness to the flesh." (Eccl. 12: 12) Not having the strength of youth any longer I am limited in the length of time I can devote to study. When I was in college full time I studied all the time and worked full time too. I had much energy back then. Still, it was weary even then, just much more so now. This is why we should do most of our study when young and full of strength.
Old age should be the time for theologians to rehearse what they have learned, and if need be, repent of any errors believed and taught. I do not want to get too old to change my mind if shown that I am wrong. But, be forewarned, what I believe I believe as a result of many years of diligent study in the fear of God, praying for insight. So, if you attempt to convert me (as many have, especially from the Campbellites with whom I have debated many times) from any theological view, know that the arguments you present will probably not be new to me.
When I study a subject I want to read what has been written on the subject by men who preceded me. I want to hear the arguments from both sides. I try to listen sincerely and honestly to all arguments and entertain no bias or presuppositions (which have not been proven). I try to do exegesis rather than eisegesis. I also try to not "lean upon my own understanding." (Prov. 3: 5)
Old age for theologians and serious bible students who have studied the bible for many years is a time when they are able to spend a lot of time in "reflection." Time is spent in meditation. Many years have been spent writing the word upon the heart and memory and old age is a time to "chew the cud." Hopefully, though our bodies weaken our minds will stay strong.
I often reflect upon my failures, upon the times that I wasted through the years. I say to myself - "why did you spend so much time watching TV when you could have been studying Hebrew and Greek, and when you could have studied far more?" But, I also look back with good feeling when I remember the good things I know that I have done in service to the Lord. Oh how many more treasures could I have laid up in heaven! So much wasted time! Yet, I can "redeem the time," take advantage of what opportunity remains to increase my investments in heaven.
I don't want to become a "crusty" old man. I have met so many elderly people who were miserable, irritable, angry, bitter, arrogant, etc. I want to become just the opposite in my old age. I want to be more "mellow" than I was when a young "firebrand" or stallion. Thankfully I have also met elderly Christians who were enjoying their golden years by spending more time in service doing those things that please the Lord. Certainly the young need such elderly and godly fathers and mothers to guide them. An elderly believer with a happy joyous spirit! How precious! What a comfort to families.
There is so much to do and so little time to do it! That is what Jesus is saying in the words cited above. The night will come for each of us when we will no longer be able to work. Death will end our labor.
It is because I know that I have little time left that I want to spend it wisely, doing what I enjoy doing. I do enjoy studying God's word. I also spend a lot of time listening to sermons and to good hymn singing. Studying is only part of what I do. I also am in constant prayer and continuously thank God for everything. I try to recall these words every time I eat - "did eat their meat with gladness and singleness of heart." (Acts 2: 46)
I get so happy sometimes when in meditation and in listening (and singing along) to spiritual songs! I often say to myself - "I wish everyone would know this joy and peace!" I then feel pity for those who reject God's offer of peace and joy and pray for lost ones in my family and for others.
I must work while it is day. I must make sure I "bring forth fruit in old age." (Psa. 92: 14) When the apostle John wrote to the believers he addressed them under several categories, such as "little children," "fathers," "young men." (I John 2: 12-14) The Greek words speak of three categories of "age." When I was saved fifty years ago I was a newborn, a little child. Then I began to grow in grace and knowledge and I became a young man. Now, I am a "father" as respects spiritual age.
Martha & Mary
On the story of Martha and Mary one writer summed it up, saying (See here):
The story of Mary and Martha takes place in Luke 10:38-42 and John 12:2.
Mary and Martha were the sisters Lazarus, the man Jesus raised from the dead. The three siblings were also close friends of Jesus Christ. They lived in a town called Bethany, about two miles from Jerusalem. One day while Jesus and his disciples stopped to visit in their home, a wonderful lesson unfolded.
Mary sat at the feet of Jesus listening intently to his words. Meanwhile, Martha was distracted, working frantically to prepare and serve the meal for her quests.
Frustrated, Martha scolded Jesus, asking him whether he cared that her sister had left her to fix the meal alone. She told Jesus to order Mary to help her with the preparations.
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41-42, NIV)
I want to be like Mary!
The way I spend time at the feet of Jesus is by thinking upon his word, by communicating with him, speaking to him and hearing him speak to me, in prayer and praise, in giving thanks, in singing, etc. I often opt to keep studying rather than do work that needs to be done here on the house and property. Sigh. But, I hope I am simply trying to make the better choice. I do try to do my secular work, but it takes a backseat to time spent with Christ. Of course, I commune with the Lord even while I work.
I say all this because I am writing much these days, putting out more to read than most care to read. But, if time goes on, hopefully these writings will stay available for generations to come to read. So, I want to put out as much as I can, want to work while it is day. Our Lord says "occupy till I come." (Luke 19: 13)
I do pray over the writings I write and those written by the contributors and I pray for all who read them.
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